Sh*t My Dad Says/Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern, 158 pages, humor, father-son

When I picked up Justin Halpern's Sh*t My Dad Says, I can admit that I didn't believe that I was going to finish it. I have been a fan of the popular Twitter account from which the book was spawned since its rise to fame in the fall of 2009, but I didn't believe that the crude, surly, albeit clever one-liners of Halpern's 73 year old father could expand into a whole book (even a short one). I can now say that I was pleasantly surprised.

For those unfamiliar with the Twitter site, some background information must be provided. The author, Justin Halpern, a 26-year old writer moves to San Diego to take a new job writing for Maxim magazine and move in with his girlfriend. Immediately upon arrival in San Diego, Halpern's girlfriend dumps him, leaving him with no place to stay except with his parents who are both in their 70's. Halpern's mother is normal enough but his father, a retired radiologist is quite the character. The elder Halpern provides sage-like advice to his son in the form of crude one-liners such as:

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them!"

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

These and other hilarious quotes paint a vivid picture of a relationship between father and son that will not only make you laugh your ass off, but also extract a few "awwwwww"s from even the toughest of guys (myself included). The format of Halpern's book works perfectly considering the material he has to work with. Some quotes require that a short story accompany them to explain the quote, so Halpern alternates between telling a story about his father and then listing 2-3 pages of quotes that require no explanation, a format that works extremely well and breaks up the material in a way that makes for excellent short-burst reading (perfect for someone who only gets to read for small periods between errands or...hypothetically, of course, a library employee who reads in between helping patrons at the circulation desk). While I wouldn't pick this book up if you are expecting anything deep or extremely involving, it is an excellent book to have on the side to pick up every once in awhile.