.....Fifty Shades of Grey/E.L. James

Fifty Shades of Grey; E.L. James, erotic Twilight fanfiction that became a bestseller by some miracle; 15 pages

I'm listing this in my blog count as 15 pages because that's how much of the book I was able to read before I threw it across the room. (It landed on my yoga mat, no damage to library items was incurred)
I'd skimmed through it beforehand, looking for all these sex scenes that were supposedly SO racy and kinky and whatnot and nothing I saw seemed that interesting, to be honest!

And then I started trying to actually read the book from the beginning and THESE CHARACTERS ARE SO BORING. I don't care about them! I don't care about their relationship, and I certainly don't care about them enough to slog through the rest of this drivel to read about their supposedly hot sex.

Spoiler alert: This book is so boring. The people are boring. The whole meet-cute is boring. The sex is boring. I'm trying really really really REALLY hard not to begrudge anyone their choices in entertainment reading but I just literally cannot conceive of how anyone would find this book in any way good. This heroine has such low self-esteem! Her mysterious cold powerful partner is so full of secrets! Is the secret that he has passionate feelings but is unable to express them in an open and emotionally healthy manner? I BET THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

It has all the oppressive, sexist, creepy stalker abusive relationship themes of Twilight, but this time it's not couched in any vampire metaphors. So...hooray? Wait. No. Not hooray at all. People can read whatever they want but I'm sorry, I can't help looking a little askance when someone is really excited about reading this one. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I think I'm starting to talk myself in circles. Really I'm wishing I had never tried to read it in the first place! but alas, my morbid curiosity. Sigh.