Fifty Shades of Grey, 514 pages
Fifty Shades Darker, 532 pages
Ffity Shades Freed, 579 pages, all by EL James

I decided to do all three in one go because I would have driven myself and whoever else reads this crazy with repeating the same thoughts about these books if I had done them one by one.

So.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

Let me start with a synopsis: Soon-to-be-college-graduate Anastasia Steele gets roped into doing an interview with the enigmatic Christian Grey, hotshot Seattle entrepreneur, because her friend, Kate, who was supposed to do the interview, is sick.  After falling (literally) into his arms, both find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other despite their better judgment, and he soon asks her to join in a type of relationship that she’s never even considered (or even knew existed) before.  Because, you see, Christian Grey has very singular, very kinky sexual tastes, and Ana is, well, a virgin.  She decides to give it the ol’ college try anyway.  But!  She wants hearts and flowers!  He likes whips and chains!  Will they be able to find a way to be together?  And once they are together, will they be able to weather his exes, his need to control, his traumatic past, all while dealing with other problems, like arson, blackmail, and the fact that every other guy in Ana’s life who either isn’t Christian, family, or gay, is, at best, openly lusting after her, or, at worst, a sexual predator with a need to get even?

Much to my surprise, I found myself enjoying the first one as I read it.  Despite problems with the writing (there are so. many. repeated. phrases.), it was such good, trashy fun that I ended up reading it a second time before returning my copy to my friend and getting the next two.  But the fun ended there for me.  The second two books, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, get so mired in manufacturing drama that I lost any interest at all in delving into Christian’s back story or in seeing if these two crazy kids could make it.  And then when I realized in the middle of the third book that this whole trilogy was going to end with him finally telling her the details of the first relationship that led him to his sexual lifestyle and how her *love* meant he could finally move past it, I was so worn out by it all that I just didn’t care.  Then you factor in that there are a LOT of elements to their relationship that in real life should scream abuse to anyone paying attention, and yeah, it quickly turned into something not for me.  Hopefully if this spurs you on into finally checking them out (with the movie version being filmed, I don’t think we’ll be free of these blasted books just yet), you’ll be able to let go and enjoy yourself better than I could.  Because, in the end, I found that I couldn’t.