Dark Space

Dark Space by Rob Hart & Alex Segura, 290 pages

Mosaic, the first space ship to leave the solar system, is on its way to a planet where humans can settle, giving space to our ever-growing population as settlements on the moon and Mars are overflowing. However, when something catastrophic goes wrong on the Mosaic, pilot Jose Carriles must try some fairly difficult maneuvers to save the mission. Meanwhile, Jose's estranged friend, former spy Corin Timony, learns of the Mosaic's troubles when a report comes in through the long-range communication she's monitoring. But before she can do anything, the distress signal is wiped clean, indicating that something foul is afoot. Soon, both Jose and Corin are conducting independent investigations to figure out what happened and how to bring everyone home safely.

I have never hate-read a book before, but now I think I can say I have. The best thing about this book is that it's not too long and it reads quickly. Aside from that, there are lots of anachronisms (detailed baseball references and phones with apps) and contradictory details (scarcity of lumber and wood, yet lots of paperwork piled up in offices and people still drinking out of disposable paper cups) and women that were obviously written by men. Perhaps the worst bit is the fact that nepo baby Jose fails up throughout the book, as his female superior officers stand by waiting for him to fix all their problems (including speaking on behalf of all humanity!). The only thing that makes it *slightly* redeemable is that he's a Latino guy failing up, so points to Hart & Segura for that bit of diversity.

The Love Interest

The Love Interest by Victoria Walters, 328 pages

Liv is a part-time librarian who really just wants to write a romance novel. But she can't figure out how to write the leading man in her book. Enter her brother's best friend, Aiden, who has long been Liv's nemesis, but whose good looks and sexy accent make him a good starting place for a fictional love interest. I'm sure you can guess where this is going.

Enemies-to-lovers is one of my favorite romance tropes, but this book falls flat. The writing is meh, and the book-within-the-book's writing is bad enough that happy ending with the publishing deal is less believable than anything romantic in this book. And that's saying something, as the romance is a bit blah as well. I could go on, but I'll suffice it to say that I don't recommend this one. 

Bitterroot

Bitterroot by James Lee Burke, 334 pages


Billy Bob Holland is a former Texas Ranger (lawman, not baseball player), a lawyer, and has a bit of an itchy trigger finger. When he travels up to Missoula, Montana to visit an old friend, and said old friend's daughter gets sexually assaulted, he embarks on a quest for vengeance, mixing it up with all of the bad seeds in Missoula (and there do seem to be a lot of them, at least in Burke's fictional version of the easy-going college town).

I'll be completely honest: the only reason I read this book is because I grew up in the Montana valley that shares a name with this book. The characters are two-dimensional at best. The plot is pretty convoluted; a flow chart or perhaps a dramatis personae or a timeline would have helped IMMENSELY. And perhaps I'm being nitpicky, but I couldn't pin down what time of year this happened (snow AND wildflowers AND forest fires? Montana may be a magical place, but those don't all happen at the same time), nor could I gauge any sort of passage of time. Kinda wish I'd put this down before I opened it.

Kill Shot: An American Assassin Thriller

Kill Shot: An American Assassin Thriller by Vince Flynn, 385 pages

Well, just about everything you need to know about this book is either in the title or on the cover. It's a thriller about an American assassin in Paris. Mitch Rapp (great name, I know) is methodically hunting down bad guys when his assassination of a Libyan diplomat goes wrong: a herd of Middle Eastern terrorists (is that the correct collective noun, herd? Is it a bunch? It's not a whole cell...) storms the room, guns blazing, leading Rapp to the correct assumption that he'd been set up. But by whom???

This was a bad book. It was filled with stereotypical cardboard characters (those Middle Eastern terrorists had names like Aziz, Samir, and Habib, even though most of them died within pages of being named) and shootouts that would have played much better in a Michael Bay movie. This would be better served as a movie to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon when you're too lazy to change the channel to something with more substance, like Jersey Shore.

Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland/ Patton Oswalt

Zombie, Spaceship Wasteland by Patton Oswalt. 189 pages. Comedy, Nerd-Humor

I have always been a huge fan of stand-up comedy, and I used to think that any stand-up comic who was even remotely educated could write a decent book if they really put their mind to it. Patton Oswalt (if the name doesn't ring a bell, look him up on google or imdb--- you'll recognize him) is an example of a college educated comic who I thought could write an amazing book since he is an avid reader himself....Unfortunately, I couldn't have been more wrong.

Oswalt's book is a compilation of stories from his childhood, tales from the beginning of his stand-up career, and random entries that Oswalt believes will be funny. Oswalt is a nerdy comedian, which I really appreciate, because I also come from that strain of human that transformed nerdy awkwardness into insightful humor. Unfortunately, Oswalt's humor doesn't transfer from stage-to-page. One of the most annoying devices Oswalt constantly uses is the footnote**. There is a footnote at least every three pages or so, and by the end of the book, I was questioning whether these footnotes were an annoying habit or Oswalt's attempt at a joke to bother his readers.

My final issue with the book was that it wasn't that funny... Patton Oswalt's comedy is usually upbeat with the occasional depressing comic thrown in. With his book, Oswalt seemed like he was trying more to comment on humanity and his own journey in a sentimental way instead of a funny one. At the beginning of the chapter for which the book is named, (Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland) Oswalt says "maybe this chapter wasn't written as much for you as it was for me". I would argue that this is actually the case for the whole book.

I must admit, though that there is occasionally a funny moment, and if you have the patience to sort through all the pseudo-intellectual trash, you will find the occasional diamond in the rough. Otherwise, this book really isn't worth your time.


**While I have no problem with the occasional footnote, some of his footnotes take up half the page and break up the story in a really awkward way that leaves the reader asking "Was that really necessary?"