Where We Belong

 

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin (2012) 372 pages

Marian had a child when she was eighteen and gave the baby up for adoption. She kept her address up-to-date at the adoption agency. Still, she is dumbfounded when the child, now eighteen herself, shows up unannounced at Marian's NYC apartment. Kirby is going through her own teenaged angst as a high school senior and feels that her adoptive parents don't understand her. When she finds Marion, she doesn't understand why her birth mother is avoiding talking about what really matters to Kirby, and instead, takes her shopping. Kirby finally learns the astounding information that her birth father doesn't even know that she exists at all.

The story shows the back and forth of emotions in such a fraught situation. Not only Kirby, but her parents, her birth mother, and her birth mother's parents are all finding their way through the changed world that results as Kirby goes on her quest to find the other important people in her life.

I thought the story was well-handled and riveting, with chapters alternating between Marion's and Kirby's points of view. As a bonus, Kirby lives in St. Louis and there's enough local color to make the story seem more real.

Family Family

Family Family by Laurie Frankel, 386 pages

India Allwood has always wanted to be a professional actress, and at 32, she's achieved the dream, having starred on Broadway, on a hit TV show, and now, in a new film drama. But when she makes an offhand remark in an interview about how the film's focus on the trauma of adoption isn't good, she suddenly has everyone from studio execs to the social media masses calling for her to be canceled. What those people don't know, however, is that India not only adopted her two children, but she was also a teen mom who chose to place her baby with an adoptive family. As these facts start to become public, India's trying to save her career, protect her complicated family, and be true to her beliefs about the positivity of adoption.

It's so rare to find a book that focuses on the joyful elements of adoption and teen pregnancy, so this one is a breath of fresh air. Yes, there are times that stretch believability, but overall, this is a wonderful book about all the many ways that functional families can be formed. Usually, I'm a fan of dysfunctional family stories, but this one is fully a functional family book, and I'm all in. Highly recommended.

Meet Me in Mumbai

 Meet Me in Mumbai by Sabina Khan, 352 pages.

This book is written in two acts. The first follows Ayesha, who is completing her last year of high school in America, far from her family in Mumbai. In a whirlwind few months she falls in love, gets pregnant, and finds herself alone and making the most difficult decision of her life. After much agonizing she decides to give the baby up for adoption to preserve both her own reputation and that of her family, and after even more agonizing she chooses to return to Mumbai.

Eighteen years later her daughter, Mira Fuller-Jensen, is feeling increasing tension between her Indian heritage and the white Texas culture that she's been raised in. When she finds a letter from her birth mother asking her to meet her in a certain place in Mumbai on her eighteenth birthday (a few short months away) she is determined to meet her, and hopes desperately this might finally help her figure out who she really is. 

I found the first half of this book very emotionally compelling, and I was deeply invested in Ayesha. Which made it pretty disappointing when I couldn't say the same about the second half, especially since that was the part of the story I was expecting to be more interested in. Too much of Mira's story tonally read more like an after school special about understanding other people, and I found the emotional drive to be pretty flat. It's also interesting that meeting her parents did in face lead to self-understanding, which was a shallow enough development I had a hard time buying it. Overall I would still say this is a fine book, but I enjoyed the author's The Love and Lies of Rukshana Ali much more.

Unto Us a Son is Given

Unto Us a Son is Given by Donna Leon  259 pp.

Book 28 in the Commissario Brunetti series. Guido Brunetti is approached by his father-in-law, Count Falier, in an attempt to stop the man from adopting an heir. Because of the intricacies of Italian law, the estate of a person without offspring will be divided among the closest family members whether that person desires it or not. However, it is possible to adopt an heir at any age. This is what Gonzalo Rodriguez de Tejada plans to do - adopt the latest of his young lovers who would then be entitled to Gonzalo's entire fortune. When Gonzalo suddenly drops dead, a new objection to the adoption arises which results in the death of a seemingly innocent woman and old friend. Brunetti investigates and uncovers more than he expected. No spoilers.

The Making of Her

The Making of Her by Bernadette Jiwa (2022) 336 pages

Joan lives in Dublin with her husband Martin and his very difficult mother, Molly. The year is 1996, and Joan finds herself still grieving for the daughter they gave up for adoption 30 years ago, before they were married. They went on to marry and have another daughter, Carmel. Although Joan puts up a front, her depression over Martin's insistence that they give up the baby continues all these years later, affecting her relationships with both her husband and their younger daughter. Martin had insisted that no one be told the secret about their first child, who was born in London, away from their hometown.

When Joan and Martin receive a letter from their first daughter, Martin is uninterested in meeting with her, afraid that her existence will hurt his reputation in the business community. Joan meets with the daughter, Emma, and learns what crisis has caused Emma to contact them after all of this time.

The book's title, The Making of Her, could be used to describe Joan, Emma, or Carmel. The story is a powerful reminder of women's issues and many of the nuanced emotions related to adoption and motherhood.

The Next to Die

 

The Next to Die by Sophie Hannah (2019) 399 pages

This murder mystery has a lot to offer: A serial killer in Great Britain has killed 3 women and 1 man, two pairs of best friends. The killer has thus been dubbed "Billy Dead Mates" by the police. Kim Tribbeck is a stand-up comedian who is apparently another target of the killer, based on a homemade booklet left with the intended victims before their murder, but Kim is having trouble understanding why, since she doesn't have a best friend. She is still dealing with the fallout of having been adopted out as a newborn, against the will of her mother, who was a teenager at the time.

The team of investigators are from different police stations in the vicinity. Their idiosyncrasies are on full display as they spar with each other while coming up with ideas on how to narrow their search for the killer. Detective Constable Simon Waterhouse seems to be the investigator with the best track record for solving crimes, but he's got his own weird habits, as his wife Charlie, another one of the investigators, can attest to. Meanwhile, a journalist, Sondra Halliday, is cranking out columns criticizing the police for their delay in finding the killer, insisting all men are misogynists.

There's a large cast of characters to keep track of, but it's well worth the effort.

Stranger Care

 

Stranger Care: a memoir of loving what isn't ours / Sarah Sentilles, 419 pgs.

After deciding not to have their own biological children, the author and her husband decide to try to adopt through the foster care system.  When they get the perfect baby, they realize how difficult it is to root against the babies mother, a woman who they get to know as they arrange for visits, etc.  In fact, this pulls back the curtain on the whole system which is rife with problems now and certainly historically.  Reunification is the goal of the system...kids living with their parents. There are a lot of moving parts, social workers that are totally burned out, lawyers, judges, and, of course the families - kids, parents, foster parents.  It is hard to fathom how it all works...oh wait, this book gives you a look...it doesn't work all that well.  Heartbreaking and beautiful, Sentilles is a master. 

Little Fires Everywhere

Little Fires Everywhere / Celeste Ng, read by Jennifer Lim, 338 pgs.

Elena Richardson is a good person.  She rents a property to deserving people for below market rate.  She feels good about giving them a leg up.  When Mia and her daughter Pearl show up, they seem like the perfect tenants.  Pearl becomes fast friends with Elena's son Moody and is soon a fixture around the house. Mia ends up taking an offer to clean and cook for the family of six.  But when Mia gets involved in a situation with a co-worker who abandoned her baby but now wants her back, Mia and Elena clash.  Elena decides to find out more about her renter with the mysterious lifestyle and background. The consequences affect both families and things become irreparable. I love how we get to know the Richardson family and the Mia and Pearl.  The perspectives of each character is fascinating. This book has been on my list for awhile and I'm glad I finally got to it.  Excellent narration by Jennifer Lim.

My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family's Nazi Past

My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family's Nazi Past by Jennifer Teege, 221 pages.
We did this for a special book group earlier this year. It's a very interesting book; the author sees a book by her biological mother and through reading it discovers many things, some disturbing, about her family and her past. Chief among the disturbing things is the fact that her maternal grandfather was Amon Goth, the Butcher of Plaszow. Recommended for readers of memoir, personal history and anyone who likes an interesting story.

Alburquerque

Alburquerque by Rudolfo Anayo  280 pp.

Abrán González learns the truth of his birth when a letter arrives from his dying birth mother. He manages to see her just before she dies. She was forced by her rich and powerful father to give up the baby at birth and the father was never revealed. Even though Abrán was raised by loving adopted parents, he feels his life has been a lie. He goes on a search for the man who was his father, the only clue to his identity is that he was a Hispanic male from her high school. He makes a deal with a shady businessman/politician for help finding his father and gets sucked into the dirty campaign process which endangers his goals and his relationship to his fiancée. Meanwhile, his best friend Joe, is battling his own demons stemming from the Vietnam War and his estrangement from his family in the Pueblo. The conclusion resolves much while leaving Abrán's ultimate future open. The complex relationships of the different cultures of the area comes strongly into play throughout the story. While an excellent story, it was not quite as good as Anayo's Bless Me, Ultima.

Rock needs river

Rock needs river: a memoir about a very open adoption / Vanessa McGrady, read by the author, 182 pgs.

This memoir traces the author's childhood and family background leading up to the adoption of her daughter.  This is where it gets interesting because the adoption was "open" and the birth parents are a part of her life.  So much a part, they lived with her and the child for awhile after they became homeless.  Interesting in so many ways telling of the ebb and flow of the relationship between the new parents and the birth parents.  The audio version is very good.  I was reluctant to stop listening.

My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me

My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family's Nazi Past by Jennifer Teege & Nikola Sellmair  221 pp.

German born Jennifer Teege was 38 years old when she found a book in the library titled I Have to Love My Father, Don't I?. She was shocked to discover it was about her birth mother, Monika Göth who had put her up for adoption as a small child. Teege is the daughter of Göth and a Nigerian man. Her mother's father was the infamous SS-Hauptsturmführer Amon Göth, commandant of the Plaszów concentration camp near Kraków, Poland who would be played by actor Ralph Fiennes in the film "Schindler's List." The horrifying discovery of her ancestry and that the grandmother she adored was complicit by denying the deaths of thousands of Jews at the hands of her husband devasted Teege's entire life. The books tells the history of Amon Göth's brutality and how Teege was able to eventually come to grips with the knowledge that had he known her, her grandfather would have wanted her dead. Chapters alternate between the historical facts and Teege's personal experiences.

Far from the Tree

Far from the Tree by Robin Benway, 374 pages.

Grace has grown up knowing that she had been adopted. Her parents have always told her that they will help her find her biological family when she was ready. Grace discovers she is pregnant and when she tells her boyfriend, his parents decide that he has to break up with her.. With her life spiraling a bit, Grace decides that it's time to seek out her family. When she finds her younger sister Maya, and her older brother Joaquin, she also finds that they have their own problems and questions. They get on relatively well together and they do their best to look out for each other as they try to unravel their shared past. It's a beautifully written book that brings tears to your eyes. Great characters too. Ably narrated by Julia Whelan.

Total cat mojo

Total cat mojo: the ultimate guide to life with your cat / Jackson Galaxy, 383 pgs.

A comprehensive guide to all the cat secrets...ok, many are not secrets.  Straight forward advice to making your relationship with your cat better, managing cat problems and inter-pet relationships.  Galaxy covers a lot of topics and makes sense of a lot of cat behaviors.  The most important takeaway "There is no such thing as disciplining your cat."  My experience tells me this is spot on advice.

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore by Matthew Sullivan  328 pp.

Lydia "Smith" works at a bookshop near the Denver train station. When one of the store "regulars" a.k.a. the "BookFrogs" hangs himself in an upstairs room he leaves his meager personal possessions to his favorite bookseller, Lydia. Lydia soon finds herself in a mystery sparked by Joey Molina's puzzling items that were meant for her to find and figure out. She is shocked to discover a connection to her previous life as Lydia Gladwell, the young survivor of a bloody unsolved crime. What starts out as a simple story of a tragic friendship evolves into a full blown mystery with multiple victims and suspects. The author uses flashbacks to Lydia's childhood to expand the suspense. I picked this up because I enjoy stories involving bookshops and stayed for the mystery.

The tea girl of Hummingbird lane

The tea girl of Hummingbird lane / Lisa See, read by Ruthie Ann Miles and others, 380 pgs.

Li-Yan lives with her family who are tea farmers in the mountains of  China.  She is being trained as a midwife but doesn't have a lot of interest. She does well in school and may be able to be the one in her village who continues on to higher education (AKA secondary education).  Instead, she falls in love and ends up pregnant, a state that is unacceptable for an unmarried woman.  Her boyfriend has left for Thailand to make money so they CAN get married but the baby is coming too soon.  Despite thinking that her mother will make her "get rid" of the baby (kill it after it is born and bury it in the forest), she instead helps Li-Yan hide her pregnancy and deliver her new born to an orphanage.  The baby is adopted out to an American couple.  Li-Yan's life seems to be going down hill fast but then takes a turn when her teacher helps her get into a training program to become a tea expert.  She moves to the big city and starts a business.  Now she is interested in tracking down the daughter she gave up.  The story goes between Li-Yan's perspective and her daughter in America.  Will they ever be able to find each other?  Listen to this great audio book and find out.

The Bullet

The Bullet by Mary Louise Kelly  357 pp.

How does a woman live with a bullet in her neck for thirty-four years and know nothing about it? The answer is startling and French literature professor Caroline Cashion learns the startling truth. When she was three a double murder was committed and she was injured. The doctors chose to leave the bullet lodged at the base of her skull for fear that the surgery would cause more damage. Now the bullet is causing her health problems and it could be the only key to convicting the suspect from thirty-four years ago. Family secrets, a cold case, insistent journalists, and crooked lawyers all combine in this convoluted but page-turner of a story. Just when I thought I knew what was going to happen there would be a twist that took it in another direction. It's a mostly satisfying thriller.

The Leavers

The leavers / Lisa Ko, 338 pgs. Read by Emily Woo Zeller

Eleven year old Deming Guo is living in New York City with his mother, her boyfriend, the boyfriend's sister, Vivian and the sister's child, Michael.  Michael is like a brother to him.  One day, his mother goes to work and never comes home.  No one seems to know what happened to her.  After several months, Deming ends up in foster care and is eventually adopted by a couple of college professors in upstate New York.  Deming becomes Daniel.  After years of feeling like he doesn't fit in, he gets some information that may lead him back to his mother.  I enjoyed the book, Deming/Daniel is trying hard to figure out who he is...so are many other characters in the book.  The audio lagged for me at times but overall it was well read by the narrator.

Don't Let My Baby Do Rodeo

Don't Let My Baby Do Rodeo by Boris Fishman, 321 pages

Maya and Alex immigrated to the U.S. when they were children, met as young adults and quickly married. After a few years, they realized they couldn't have children and, despite her husband's reservations, Maya and Alex adopt a baby from a young couple from Montana, vowing to never tell the child of his biological parents. Fast-forward eight years, and when the young Max begins acting oddly (eating grass, wandering among deer in their New Jersey backyard, running away to look at rocks in a stream), Maya determines that they need to track down his biological parents in order to understand their son.

It's an odd story of family, of adopted cultures, of not fitting in. I'm honestly not sure what I thought of this book, though I know I'll be ruminating on it for quite some time. Which I guess is a good thing.

Born with Teeth

Born with Teeth: a memoir by Kate Mulgrew  306 pp.

Actress Kate Mulgrew grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family in Iowa. When young, she aspired to be a poet until her mother advised her to try acting. She did and loved it and soon left for New York to study with famed acting teacher, Stella Adler. Soon she was starring in the soap opera "Ryan's Hope" and never looked back. Mulgrew tells her story with an openness and honesty, portraying the triumphs and the tragedies, along with various bumps along the road. The deaths of two younger sisters, giving up a child for adoption, the difficulty of raising children while working 12-18 hours a day as Captain Janeway on "Star Trek: Voyager," a broken marriage, and failed relationships, are all tempered with the optimism and outspokenness she learned from her family. And yes, she was born with teeth. I listened to the audio book read by Mulgrew, herself. At the end is a lengthy interview between Mulgrew and Rosie O'Donnell recorded at a charity event.