Moist

 Moist by Mark Haskell Smith 320 pp.

If you're a fan of dark humor, this is the book for you. Bob has a cushy job at a pathology lab where he spends most of his time playing Tetris and surfing the internet. His girlfriend is a sex therapist and it sounds like a perfect life. When the lab receives a heavily tattooed severed arm Bob becomes obsessed with the image of a buxom women performing a sex act. While delivering the arm to the crime lab, Bob is kidnapped by Mexican mobsters who don't want the police to identify the arm as belonging to one of their own. Soon Bob is going by Roberto and wanting to be part of the Mexican mob, especially after they promise to introduce him to the woman in the tattoo. Esteban, the mob boss, decides he likes Bob and wants to keep him around, others in the gang want him gone, permanently and are plotting to eliminate him. Meanwhile, a wine snob police detective desperately wants the arm found in hopes of bringing down the mob. In the course of his investigations he hooks up with Bob's ex-girlfriend who has a disturbing sexual reaction to guns. The mobsters decide to throw the cops off their trail with a substitute arm from an unwilling victim that they then have tattooed to look like the original arm. It's all pretty farfetched and hilariously grotesque. 

Six and a Half Deadly Sins

Six and a Half Deadly Sins by Colin Cotterill  242 pp.

This is the tenth book in the Dr. Siri Paiboun series. As always, Dr. Siri goes off on an unofficial investigation (he is now the Retired National Coroner of Laos) this time into the mysterious package he receives containing a hand woven pha sin, a traditional Laos skirt (the "sin" in the title). Sewn in the hem of the sin is a human finger. Since Siri and his wife have been forced to live in Siri's old house with the collection of crazies that inhabit it, they are glad for a reason to go on the road and solve a mystery which takes them north to the Laos-China border in a kind of scavenger hunt for other sin. Siri's old friend Civilai appears, having been sent on a diplomatic mission to negotiate with the Chinese. When they end up with a stash of heroin instead of another skirt, things get dangerous. Inspector Phosy has also been sent to the same area to investigate some killings and is captured and presumably killed. Then the Chinese invade Vietnam and chaos reigns. While the others are "enjoying" their trip to the north, Nurse Dtui discovers that an old nemesis of Siri's was not actually executed as they thought and is once again out to kill him. All the chaos comes to a conclusion at a funeral for a main character, but I'm not giving away who the funeral is for.

Disco for the Departed

Disco for the Departed by Colin Cotterill  247 pp.

This mystery is part of the Dr. Siri Paiboun series. Dr Siri is the national coroner of the People’s Democratic Republic of Laos. He is ordered to the mountains of Huaphan Province, where an arm is found sticking out of the concrete walk that was laid from the President’s former cave hideout to his new house beneath the cliffs.   Dr Siri identifies the corpse as a Cuban soldier who had supposedly been sent home which leads to allegations of ritual murder, a tragic love story, and an encounter with a huge number of spirits in the cave hall being prepared for a government celebration. A side plot involves the faithful morgue assistant, Geung, being taken by soldiers to a location hundreds of miles away on the orders of a party boss who dislikes the idea of a man with Down's Syndrome working for the national morgue. Geung is so worried about neglecting his duties he begins to walk home, suffering injuries and illness along the way before arriving back at the morgue seriously ill with a mosquito born disease. In spite of the serious subject matter, this book, and the rest of the series, is full of humor and the wonderful characters. 

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins  384 pp.

Somehow this was a Tom Robbins that I never got around to reading so when I found an audiobook version.... This one doesn't quite compare to his later novels but has it's quirky charm nonetheless. Sissy Hankshaw is the main character and quite a character she is. Born with abnormally large thumbs, she realizes as a teen that she was just meant for hitchhiking. When she finds herself in New York, she becomes a model for "The Countess," a misogynistic man who runs a feminine hygiene product empire. She marries an artist who is a full-blooded Mohawk in denial of his Native American-ness. Eventually she ends up at the Dakota spa ranch owned by the Countess and meets the cowgirl Bonanza Jellybean and the rest of the ranch cowgirls who take over the ranch and boot out the spa guests. Living in the hills above the ranch is a Japanese American mystic shaman known as the Chink whose favorite phrase is Ha Ha Ho Ho Hee Hee! The characters and bizarre plot twists are classic Robbins and include his hallmark philosophical expounding. The premise of the government battling cowgirls who have rustled endangered Whooping Cranes by drugging them with peyote is certainly as original as it's author.

Secondhand Souls

Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore  335 pp.

This is the sequel to A Dirty Job where Charlie Asher becomes a Death Merchant who collects the soul vessels of the dead and is the father of Sophie who is the Illuminatus/Death embodied. Charlie is trapped in the body of a "meat puppet", a squirrel like creature who is holding his soul until Charlie's girlfriend, and former Buddhist nun, Audrey finds a suitable human body for him. Sophie's protectors, two enormous dogs known as the Hellhounds, have disappeared. The Emperor of San Francisco calls together the few remaining Death Merchants to discuss the problem of souls not being collected. Then a painter on the Golden Gate Bridge discovers souls living there. Add in a taser wielding Banshee, a flock(?) of other meat puppets, and Death Merchant Minty Fresh's cousin, Lemon Fresh, who is trying capture the souls for nefarious reasons and you have classic Moore craziness. And there is a bonus appearance by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. (They really exist and I know some of those guys.) This one could be read as a stand alone but it's best that you read A Dirty Job first.

Double Whammy

Double Whammy by Carl Hiaasen  320 pp.

This is an early novel by Hiaasen but the premise is similar to his other Florida based stories. Detective/photographer R.J. Decker is hired by a wealthy to investigate cheating in the world of bass fishing competitions.  The prime suspect in the corruption is the star of a fishing show produced by a big religious television network run by The Reverend Weeb, a not-so-pure evangelist. When a body is found connected with the tournaments Decker finds himself deep in a murder investigation after first being a suspect. With the help of his ex-wife and Hiaasen's recurring character, the Everglades hermit/former Florida governor known as Skink, the story gets even more convoluted and funny while more dead bodies appear. Of course, Skink is the hero of it all. And as an added bonus, devoted Hiaasen readers learn how Skink lost his eye.

Catch-22

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller  544 pp.

Before MASH turned the Korean War into hilarious mayhem Joseph Heller gave us Catch 22, the book that satirized the horrors of war and "military intelligence." I first read this book about 35 years ago and decided to revisit it in audiobook form. I discovered so much I had forgotten or that just didn't register in my young brain the first time around. The main character, Yossarian, would today be diagnosed as having PTSD from watching too many friends and fellow soldiers die and flying too many bombing missions. As long as Yossarian's superior officers keep raising the number of missions required before going home, he continues to try to find a way to get out of the madness of WWII. The story includes flashbacks to the bombing mission when tail-gunner Snowden is hit and Yossarian tried to save him. I'm glad I decided to read this once again even if the narrator frequently sounded like the U-Man, John Ulett.