Gender Queer

Gender Queer, a Memoir by Maia Kobabe (2019) 240 pages

Maia was born as a female and lived with free-spirited parents and a sister on a large remote property in Northern California, with one neighbor family who was similar. There wasn't a real need for Maia to consider being any particular gender, until starting first grade, when it seemed jarring to Maia to be left out of an activity because Maia was female. That was just the start. As Maia matured, Maia was constantly searching for and trying on different gender identities, first as gay, then bi, then trans. Nothing seemed to fit.

This graphic lit memoir shows the reader just what some people go through as they try to figure out who they are. Later on, Maia is steered by a friend to read Touching a Nerve: The Self as Brain by Patricia S. Churchland, which gets into the biology which could explain why for some people there is a disconnect between one's gonads and their gender identity. Reading Churchland's book provided great relief to Maia: "I was born this way."

There is also some discussion about the use of pronouns that some people choose, whether to use male or female pronouns, plural pronouns, or Spivak pronouns (e, em, and eir).

Good book, both for those who are searching for their gender identity and also for those who want to understand them and support their choices.